These Boat Names Are Too Clever For Their Own Good

For some, sailing is an incredibly important part of their lifestyle. To hit the waters and feel at one with an ocean, sea, or river is an experience that is nothing short of exhilarating. So when you know that you and your acquired boat are in it for the long haul, you just have to give it a name. They say that giving a boat a name is very important – it’s good luck. It seems like every single sailor on this list has given their boat a name that is purely for comedic effect. Join us as we run through some of funniest boat names on the internet right now.

When this guy bought a boat and decided to call it the “Unsinkable,” he didn’t quite think things through. He didn’t realize that pretty much every single water vessel actually has the potential to sink. When the Unsinkable came to its eventual demise, the owner did the “unthinkable” – he bought another boat.

However, this guy firmly believes that lightning won’t strike twice. Henceforth, the new vehicle is called Unsinkable II. We’re sure that part three of this Unsinkable trilogy will be out soon.

If you’re a terrible fisherman, you might as well steer into the skid and be loud and proud about it. It appears that, in recent times, this particular fisherman hasn’t had too much success in this neck of the woods.

Or maybe it’s a bluff. Maybe this guy is actually cleaning up these shores and taking home a lion’s share of the fish. However, in order to cover up his success, he came up with this cool little internet-based pun for a boat name.

When you are making tons of money, you can be excused if you choose to splash the cash and become a little more laid back when it comes to how you budget. Buy another house, buy a new car, heck, why not buy yourself a boat? However, it appears that this particular guy is an exceptional individual.

Despite his vast resources, he chooses to be economical and makes sure that every dime counts. When a baller says “no money wasted,” we believe him.

Some boat names are just flat-out rude. Although this guy had a lightbulb moment and thought up his own little pun, he didn’t take into account how people would feel when reading it. Who is he aiming this name at? Is it an ex? Or maybe it’s just his way of say, “Yes! I have a boat!”

Most of the time, owning a boat is, in itself, an ostentatious display of one’s wealth. However, that doesn’t mean you need to curse!

Remember Usain Bolt? Of course, you do. What sort of question is that? If you don’t, where have you been for the last ten years? Sprinter Usain Bolt represented Jamaica at the last few Olympic games and is currently the world record holder in a number of races, such as the 100 meter, 200 meter, and the 4 x 100 meter relay.

So it would make sense that someone would name a boat after him. However, we doubt that his boat is as quick as Usain.

If you haven’t seen Breaking Bad, then what the heck are you doing reading this article?! Go get some popcorn, turn on Netflix, and get ready for the TV show of the century! If you have seen the classic series, then carry on reading.

We doubt that a real-life Heisenberg decided to trade in his RV for a boat and start “cooking” in it. However, there is a good chance that this sailor is going through some sort of mid-life crisis.

When this guy saw this boat at a cut-price, he knew it was an offer he could not refuse. Because of this, he decided to call his new naval home “The Codfather.” Maybe this guy is an expert at fishing for cod and has opened up a restaurant.

Either that or he is a big fan of the Francis Ford Coppola classic and is a sucker for a pun! Hopefully, he won’t wake up next to a horse’s head!

If these sailors went by the mantra “no worries” after purchasing their boat, then they might want to reconsider changing the name. You can’t simply go through life with no worries whatsoever. You need to be aware and realize that bad things can happen.

Of course, you don’t want to become paranoid, but a healthy balance is ideal. These guys were just too carefree, which could explain why they ended up nearly sinking to the bottom of the sea.

Look, we get that a lot of people subscribe to the saying “Carpe Diem.” This is the Latin expression that translates into English as “seize the day.” Once again, the pun wizards are at work here! However, we can’t ignore the huge elephant in the room; where this boat is located.

We didn’t realize that there were rivers and seas in the desert-filled landscape of Las Vegas. Who knows, maybe this is a boat-themed casino. If there was ever a place to “seas the day,” then it’s Vegas, baby!

Some boat names choose practicality over humor or sentimentality. Take this one, for example. In the event of the vessel capsizing, passersby will notice that something is going wrong because the message will read “Uh-Oh!” This is just in case the witness failed to realize that the boat had turned the wrong way round.

What they should be more worried about is what may have happened to who was on the boat. This is probably one of the most useful names on this list.

Despite its tragic ending, many regard the Titanic as one of the most iconic ships of all time. Therefore, it would make sense for a potential seafarer to name their own vehicle in honor of the classic ship.

However, ever since it was hit by an iceberg and sank all those years ago, the word “Titanic” has inevitably developed a reputation that can only be described as a curse. If you are planning on sailing your own boat, you might want to call it something else.

Anyone who has a sibling can easily relate to this. Our best bet is that two brothers are responsible for this choice of boat names. They like to sail together. However, it’s primarily to race each other and generally prove who the best sailor is.

In all honesty, based on the boat names we’ve seen so far, we’re surprised that the one called “Wood Not” wasn’t spelled as “Wood Knot.” We certainly wouldn’t have been surprised!

The only thing we can assume this particular pun is alluding to is the likelihood that this sailor had been waiting to acquire a boat for a long time. After years of work and saving up, he finally had the funds and resources necessary to purchase his dream sea vessel.

However, we’re of the opinion that it’s “aboat time” that this person changed the boat’s name to something else. What about “Fooling Aboat?” We like the sound of that.

Ever heard of a booze cruise? Of course you have. That’s the dream. Who doesn’t love the idea of going on a boat and drinking until you can’t tell the difference between Sly Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger?

One day, when this sailor had a boat party, his guests realized that he hadn’t decided on a name yet for it. He ended up going with “Totally Sober.” Then, in that very moment, he hung himself over the side and started painting the name onto the boat.

Many will agree that family is everything. For a lot of families, going on boat trips during the weekend is a longstanding tradition. Many parents love taking the opportunity to take their children out for fishing trips. However, one day, you’re going to have to leave this beautiful boat behind.

Of course, it only makes sense that you would hand it over to the next generation. So this guy decided to drill that into his kids’ heads early on.

Did we miss something? It appears that the first ever ship-turned-spaceship went completely under our radar. If this is what we hope it is, we could be in for a story of epic sci-fi proportions.

This vessel has recently set sail from Hong Kong and is on its way to the planet of Uranus before stopping off in Titan to refuel. However, there is a teeny-weeny chance that Titan Uranus might actually be the name of the ship.

Not every single sailor has cash oozing out of their pores. Some people need to rely on the banks from time to time in order to invest in their dreams. Taking a loan out can be the difference between that brand new sports car or a rundown, second hand Prius.

Though we have a feeling that the owner will soon need to change the name. Once that loan is paid off, they can start thinking about calling the boat “a loan no more.”

Possibly the punniest boat name on this list. When you want something enough, you will do whatever it takes to make sure it is yours. However, to try to steal something shows a level of desperation that is near-on impossible to fathom.

We are pretty “shore” that this boat was “knot” stolen. If we keep this up, we’ll be communicating in just puns and you won’t even be able to understand what the hell we’re talking about. Sorry.

Of course, funny and punny boat names rarely go without a strong sense of irony. With the topless sailor sitting in the sun in the background, this one is probably one of the most ironic.

Although it has nothing to do with the book it is referring to, Fifty Shades of Grey, it makes sense in the context of the photo. This guy looks like he has already burned himself a bit too much. He’ll be 50 shades of burnt by the end of the day.

Marriage can be hard work at the best of times. However, if one’s relationship doesn’t work out, a divorce can be a logistical nightmare. Thankfully, for this recent divorcee, he had his boat to turn to for an easy form of shelter.

While figuring out where to live next after being kicked out, he decided to give his boat a temporary name to clarify the ongoing arrangement. Don’t worry though, friend. You know what they say, there’s plenty more fish in the sea!

Life is like a dream, and for many, having their own boat is a dream come true. It seems like this sailor decided to get philosophical when naming his respective boats. He chose to call the main boat Illusion. As a result, it was only fitting to give the dingy a fitting name that complemented it.

Therefore, he went with Reality. The big question is this though. Which came first – the reality or the illusion? Now we are confusing ourselves.

When this guy bought his first boat, he really wanted to call it the S.S. Steve. Unfortunately, he’s never been the type of person with strong willpower. Ever since Steve was a kid, his best friend, Kyle, always managed to convince him to do things by pressuring him.

Once Kyle heard that Steve was buying a boat, he called up Steve and suggested he name the new boat Pier Pressure. Steve ended up caving to Kyle as he always has.

This guy needed to take out a second mortgage on his house in order to afford merely the down payment for the boat of his dreams. In his eyes, however, it was more than worth it to feel the freedom of the open water.

When it came time to name his new boat, he decided to name the vessel in honor of the financial sacrifices he made. Seeing his dream become a reality was all worth it in the end.

Some people buy boats because they love fishing. Others simply can’t resist the serenity of the open water. This guy purchased his boat for a different reason. After binge-watching AMC’s The Walking Dead, he decided that the time had come to prepare for the inevitable zombie apocalypse.

He decided the best move would be to sell all of his belongings, buy a boat, fill it with food and supplies, and wait for the zombies. He’s been waiting for four years.

When this ocean enthusiast isn’t cruising the waters in his yacht, he’s probably in his office, where he works as a dietician. After studying nutrition in college, he developed a passion for vitamins and minerals. That’s why he decided to name his boat ‘Vitamin Sea.’

He is currently conducting a research study to find out if time spent out on the water correlates to an increase in the body’s levels of vitamin C. As of now, the results are inconclusive.

Sometimes we see things that cause us to do a double-take. For those of us who don’t like the unnecessary attention, this can be maddening. The guy who owns this boat was so sick of strangers checking out his boat that he decided to address the issue head-on by cleverly renaming his boat ‘Water U Lookin’ At.’

Since changing his boat’s name, even more people have begun staring, pointing, and even laughing. He’s now considering abandoning ship and selling the vessel altogether.

Many people cannot look back and assess whether they have made good or bad decisions in their lives. They either live in a constant state of regret or an endless state of disillusionment. Self-awareness involves the ability to logically asses oneself and the decisions one has made.

Very few people can look back on a mistake, realize that they messed up, but not beat themselves up over the regret they feel. This boat-owner is one of the very few self-aware people in this world.

We are pretty “shore” that this was meant to be a funny pun, but unfortunately, it didn’t really land. At first, we speculated that Knot Shore might actually be a place and this boat was simply honoring where it came from.

However, after some intense research, we have come to the conclusion that the owner was trying to be clever. He was unsuccessful, and that is something we are definitely “shore” about. We promise that not all of these boat names are pun-centric.

This is what happens when a sad story makes its way through the internet. It eventually gets lost in translation, becomes a meme, and becomes so trivial that people forget the original story. Harambe was a gorilla in a zoo who came in close contact with a three-year-old.

However, a zoo worker intervened and shot the gorilla to make sure nothing happened to the child. So here we are a few years later, and here is one of many people who is using Harambe’s name in vain.

In life, we can go through all sorts of crises. The most common one has to be the midlife crisis, which a lot of people experience and handle in different ways.

However, there are some individuals who experience a crisis earlier on in life – specifically, after finishing college. “What am I going to do next with my life?” “What am I going to do with all these worthless qualifications?” Etc, etc. You know what the right answer always is? BY A BOAT!

In this day and age, it is perfectly normal to write messages to each other in text form. What happens though when you get a tech-savvy individual who also bought themselves a boat? You get a very cringe-worthy name that tries to be hip at the same time.

Listen, boat owner, if you want to make a dad-joke on your sea vessel, be our guest. If you want to be cool with “da kids,” write in text form. Just don’t mix the two together.

Right off the bat, we just hope that this guy wasn’t trying to use a fart joke for the name of his boat. However, it seems like that is exactly what this particular individual was going for.

All we can do is shake our head and write a couple of sentences about how we disapprove of this one. What’s funny is how unfunny this boat name is. Does that make sense? No. Now that we think about it – it doesn’t.

The puns just keep on coming in this pun-tastic list! We’ve had them all already – “knot shore,” “carp diem,” “seas the day.” It got to a point when we were pretty sure that there were no other puns available that revolved around boats.

Then this guy came along, purchased his own boat and named it “Reel Therapy.” We know that taking to the waters can be as cathartic as any other pastime. Yet this guy was prepared to celebrate this relaxing activity…with a pun.

Another page, another pun. We are convinced that this particular owner was simply trying to hit home just how quick he can steer his boat.

In this cutthroat life of a sailor, you just want to take to the shores of Florida and pretend you’re Sonny Crocket, fighting crime on the Miami waters and convincing yourself that it is still the 80s. In reality, though, you bought yourself a boat and you gave it an underwhelming name.

Double the fun! Why not have one pun when you can have two? How about a couple of puns? Let’s face it, half of the other boat owners on this list have already used the word “knot” in their name. Why not tag along with another pun to win the “Pundial?”

That’s Spanish for World Cup, by the way. Mundial, but with a “p.” Oh no, now we’re explaining our own pun. That’s when you know you’re desperate for laughs. Somebody punish us!!

Relationships can be tough. There will be plenty of situations when you have to choose between your spouse and something/somebody else in your life. Maybe you want to go out for drinks with your friends after work. However, your significant other wants to cuddle up on the sofa and watch that new movie on TV.

For this guy, he had to choose between his girlfriend and his new love, a boat. She may not have broken up with him, but she is still furious.

What happens when you combine a boat with a gang of pugs? That’s right folks, a “pugboat.”

Not exactly a tugboat, but you can tell that these cute little hounds are having a “whale” of a time.

We get the impression that many sailors like to keep things fairly simple. No-nonsense seems to be the name of the game when taking to the waters. Take this guy for example, who simply wants to sail away and enjoy the soothing sea.

However, if that was really the case, then we’d assume that he would have called the boat “No Bullship.” In that case, we are thinking about retracting everything we just said. This is Bullship.

Like many things in life, the traditional workspace is constantly in a state of evolution. The classic office is simply one of many legitimate places that one can call their place of work. Many people have rooms at home that they use as their office. Others rent out office space for their own personal work time.

However, there are also those who conduct all of their business in – yes, you guessed it – a boat. Take this man, for example, who is permanently in the middle of a long conference call. Maybe.

In life, everything is borrowed. You enter this world with nothing, you die with nothing. Ok, with that life lesson out of the way, let’s cut to the chase. You either own a boat, or you don’t – plain and simple. How dare this person use their boat’s name to basically highlight their wishy-washy indecisiveness?

Dude, the boat is one of three things. Either it’s in your name, you co-own it, or you stole it! We don’t care which one it is, just choose!

Bad things happen, plain and simple. We all experience pain and problems throughout our lives, it just depends on how much. In short – “sh*t happens.”

That classic phrase, whose origin story was fictionally told in Forrest Gump, can be found in many other areas of pop culture – most notably, bumper stickers. Therefore, it makes perfect sense that someone would use it on their own boat. Of course, it just wouldn’t be right if they didn’t transform it into a pun.

If you are a lover of puns, then you might want to “fish” for some more boat-related articles after reading this one! If not, then we don’t know what to say – this is “knot” for you?

This is just another classic example of a sailor who wanted to convince the world that he has a decent command of the English language. Or, at least decent enough that he can manipulate words for comedic effect. Of course, comedy is subjective.